Posts: 3017
From: Sweet Home Northern Bama, USA
Registered: JUL 2004

posted 04-11-2005 06:38 AM         

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These are ACTUAL Manager quotes taken from employee performance appraisals.

1."Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
2."I would not allow this employee to breed."
3."This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
4."Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet."
6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."
11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
12. "A gross ignoramus --- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural DE-selection."
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it"
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
26. "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Posts: 3017
From: Sweet Home Northern Bama, USA
Registered: JUL 2004

posted 04-11-2005 06:48 AM           

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i will use many of these ... great stuff

i like #19

This message has been edited by halicat on 04-11-2005 at 07:57 AM

Posts: 36093
From: Mesa, Az
Registered: JUL 2000

Posts: 7907
From: Las Cruces, NM, USA
Registered: DEC 2001

Posts: 2622
From: Port Huron, MI USA
Registered: JAN 2003

posted 04-11-2005 11:34 AM         

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quote:

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Originally posted by halicat:
i will use many of these ...

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Hey, Heli-coil, they were talking about YOU !

Posts: 2622
From: Port Huron, MI USA
Registered: JAN 2003

Posts: 2622
From: Port Huron, MI USA
Registered: JAN 2003

Posts: 2622
From: Port Huron, MI USA
Registered: JAN 2003

They're probably yours ya slacker !!

Posts: 3017
From: Sweet Home Northern Bama, USA
Registered: JUL 2004

Posts: 2622
From: Port Huron, MI USA
Registered: JAN 2003

posted 04-11-2005 01:21 PM         

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quote:

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Originally posted by Tytanium-K:
Ahhh! Now U know my secret--20 jobs in 20 years--U rascal!

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Now that's consistancy.
And to think all those HR people out there in Corporate America complain that no one wants to work anymore..............

This message has been edited by Ed W. on 04-11-2005 at 01:21 PM

Posts: 2120
From: Sedalia Mo USA
Registered: MAY 2003

Posts: 2622
From: Port Huron, MI USA
Registered: JAN 2003

posted 04-11-2005 02:57 PM         

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quote:

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Originally posted by Lone Ranger:

Reminds me of some of the applicants i've interviewed in the past. lol

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Are you hiring?
We can have all of "F" Troop there in 20 minutes,....

...................just in time to go on break!

All times are CT (US)