posted 04-09-2005 10:36 AM         

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

BUT, to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair.

Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result: the judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly Butch was a Politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

posted 04-09-2005 02:46 PM         

On his way to his truck at the end of the day, he was carrying Butch under one arm and one of his hens under the other. It suddenly dawned on him that his donkey had wandered off on their way through the fair. As it happens an attractive women was passing by, so he smiled at her and nonchalantly asked her if she would be so kind as to hold his c*ck and pullett 'cause he was gonna need both hands to find his a$$.

Good thing the local sheriff was his cousin....