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Remedies that work - A must read (Page 2)
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ProwlerOnline, Plymouth/Chrysler Prowler Discussion Forum
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Remedies that work - A must read (Page 2)
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| This topic is 2 pages long: 1 2 This topic was originally posted in this forum: Tires, Rims Discusssion |
| Author | Topic: Remedies that work - A must read |
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idive Prowler Junkie Posts: 8483 |
posted 03-04-2005 02:33 AM
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends, you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan. |
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Orange unregistered Posts: 8483 |
posted 03-04-2005 03:29 AM
They were all hillarious, but this one hit home:
quote: For some reason, I had a nose bleed this morning and my dad had just called me. I told him about it and how I couldn't figure out the cause. His reply: "oh just let it bleed, you probably just have high blood pressure and it would help..."
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