posted 02-25-2005 04:23 PM         

Smart *** Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....
she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart *** Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock
boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
ma'am, they're dead."

Smart *** Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart *** Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up
for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car
and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of gas."