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Great Laughs from Hollywood Squares, Very Funny (Page 2)
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ProwlerOnline, Plymouth/Chrysler Prowler Discussion Forum
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Great Laughs from Hollywood Squares, Very Funny (Page 2)
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| This topic is 2 pages long: 1 2 This topic was originally posted in this forum: Tires, Rims Discusssion |
| Author | Topic: Great Laughs from Hollywood Squares, Very Funny |
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BeWare Prowler Junkie Posts: 18511 |
posted 02-24-2005 01:46 PM
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES !! > If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. > > Q. Do female frogs croak? > A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. > > Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? > A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. > > Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. > A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes > > Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? > A Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. > > Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? > A Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. > > Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? > A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. > > Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? > A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. > > Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? > A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. > > Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? > A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. > > Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? > A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. > > Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? > A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. > > Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? > A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. > > Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? > A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. > > Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? > A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. > > Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? > A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. > > Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? > A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? > > Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? > A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. > > Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? > A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. > > Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean? > A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing. > > Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? > A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected. > > Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? > A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. > > Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? > A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? > > Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? > A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. > > Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? > A. Charley Weaver: His feet > > Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? > A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh !! |
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pumpkin Prowler Junkie Posts: 7907 |
posted 02-24-2005 02:54 PM
They are funny. |
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halicat unregistered Posts: 7907 |
posted 02-24-2005 04:35 PM
every one is a gem..  |
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Lone Ranger Prowler Junkie Posts: 2120 |
posted 02-24-2005 04:37 PM
That was a great show. Good memories of those old-timers as well. They had a gift that is sadly lacking in todays comedians. They were funny not rude.
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Dave Mills Prowler Junkie Posts: 5419 |
posted 02-24-2005 05:23 PM
Well said Lone Ranger. They got there point across without crude explicatives. |
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Tom Santella Prowler Junkie Posts: 1484 |
posted 02-24-2005 07:16 PM
All those regulars were good, but I watched because of Paul Lynde. You had to laugh even before he got the joke out. Miss that guy. ------------------ |
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SirReal Prowler Junkie Posts: 3332 |
posted 02-24-2005 08:32 PM
Ah the good ole days! Always enjoyed George Gobel, but you could always expect something hilarious from Paul Lynde. When asked what do you do if you're on a bike going down a hill at 60 mph and the chain breaks, in Paul Lynde fashion he quickly responded "Honk if you love Jesus" |
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