posted 02-23-2005 09:38 AM         

A lobbyist is caught in a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, Wow, this seems worse than usual. He notices a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer, what's the hold up?"

The officer replies, "The President is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and al-Quaida, or that his tax cuts will help anyone except his wealthy friends; the press called him on the lie about Iraq trying to buy uranium from Nigeria, and now the NBC White House reporter Campbell Brown is threatening to sue him for the sexual innuendo he made to her at his recent press conference. So we're taking up a collection for him."

The lobbyist asks, "How much have you got so far?"