Posts: 7907
From: Las Cruces, NM, USA
Registered: DEC 2001

posted 02-04-2005 09:18 AM         

---

>Subject: We Must Stop This Immediately!
>
>Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier.
>And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I
>was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
>
>And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones.
>They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just
>keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until
>they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?
>
>I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the
>other
>hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old
>friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even
>recognize
>me.
>
>I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
>morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection.........Well,
>REALLY
>NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
>
>Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and
>limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.. All I can
>say
>is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and
>swerve in my rear view mirror.
>
>Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they
>suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think
>no
>one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs,
>and bosom?
>
>The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in
>reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial?
>HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people
>think they're fooling?
>
>I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but
>the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the
>phone
>books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!
>
>All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless
>something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these
>awful indignities.
>
>PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET
>THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
>
>PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has
>caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were too!
>

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