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So you thought that cops had no sense of humour? (Page 2)

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Author	Topic: So you thought that cops had no sense of humour?
pumpkin Prowler Junkie Posts: 7907 From: Las Cruces, NM, USA Registered: DEC 2001	posted 01-29-2005 03:36 PM So you thought that cops had no sense of humour? The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country: "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun." "So you don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Sure, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" "Yeah, we have a quota.Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." "Just how big were those two beers?" "No, sir. We don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail! (And maybe the best one of all) "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?You're right, we don't... Sign here. The last one is great,
c.mangeng Prowler Junkie Posts: 419 From: Port Orchard, WA, USA Registered: FEB 2003	posted 01-29-2005 04:18 PM Very funny, especially the last one. Wish they all had a sense of humor. I was at the car ferry terminal in the prowler and several people were asking me about the car. Along comes a state patrol officer, trying really hard to look uninterested in the car and what was being said. So I could not resist to discuss the benifits of having run flat tires should you hit a spike strip racing down the highway. . With a straight face he turned to me and said "I hope you did not plan on catching the next boat" then he turned away. Maybe he smiled after his back was turned. :D
Lone Ranger Prowler Junkie Posts: 2120 From: Sedalia Mo USA Registered: MAY 2003	posted 01-29-2005 04:38 PM

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