posted 01-11-2005 09:00 AM         

Subject: True Hallmark Cards

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And
now that you've come into my life ...(Inside card) - I've changed my
mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life . . .
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am ...(Inside card) -
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go . . .
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably
need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry . (Inside card) - Someone other than you.

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age . . .(Inside card) -
Almost
lifelike!

7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me . . (Inside
card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time . . . (Inside card) What do
you
say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you . . . (Inside card) - It's almost like
you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy . . .(Inside card)
- Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and
there was only one life jacket . . (Inside card) - I'd miss you
terribly and think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
Birthday (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! ...(inside card).... Available
only in Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas and Kentucky

14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't
help but wonder . . (Inside card) - What was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your wedding day! . . (Inside card) - Too
bad no one likes your husband.