posted 12-17-2004 09:42 AM         

"Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.

I have a good mind to scrap the whole works !

I've busted my *** for damn near a year.

Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better

Those *******s from the IRS sent me a letter,

They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny

Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits

They want the impossible--Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds

Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads

I made a ton of you yo yo's--No request for them! ,

They want computers and robots..they think--I'm IBM !

Flying through the air...dodging the trees

Falling down chimney's and skinning my knees

I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment

I"ll sit on my fat *** and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year, now you know the reason,

I found me a redhead.

I'm going SOUTH for the season!