posted 12-10-2004 08:18 AM         

History of Middle finger
Well, now......here's something I never knew before,
and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it
on to my more intelligent friends [POA members] in the hope that
they, too, will feel edified.
Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?
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Giving the Finger
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French,
anticipating victory over the English, proposed to
cut off the middle finger of all captured English
soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be
impossible to draw the renowned English longbow
and therefore they would be incapable of fighting
in the future.
This famous weapon was made of the native English
Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was
known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English
won a major upset and began mocking the French by
waving their middle fingers at the defeated
French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew!
"PLUCK YEW!"
Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the
difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has
gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F',
and thus the words often used in conjunction
with the one-finger-salute!
It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the
arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic
gesture is known as "giving the bird."
And yew thought yew knew everything

posted 12-11-2004 07:32 PM         

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WAR BETWEEN IRELAND AND FRANCE AVERTED

Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra! !" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."

posted 12-12-2004 12:25 AM         

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the
age of eleven: $6,400



The average number of people airborne over the
US any given hour: 61,000



Intelligent people have more zinc and copper
in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter:
Tom Sawyer.



The San Francisco Cable cars are the only
mobile National Monuments.



Each king in a deck of playing cards
represents a great king from history:



Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar





111,111,111 x 111,111,111 =
12,345,678,987,654,321



If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front legs in the air, the person died in
battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in
battle. If the horse has all four legs on the
ground, the person died of natural causes.



Only two people signed the Declaration
of Independenceon July 4th, John Hancock
andCharlesThomson. Most of the rest signed on
August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until
5 years later.



Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles
of what?



A. Their birthplace



Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is
the most popular boat name requested?



A. Obsession



Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far
would you have to go until you would find the letter
"A"?



A. One thousand



Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes,
windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in
common?



A. All invented by women.



Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?


A. Honey

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than
any other day of the year?



A. Father's Day


In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured
on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes
the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to
sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight,
sleep tight."



It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000
years ago that for a month after the wedding, the
bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and
because their calendar was lunar based, this period
was called the honey month ... which we know today
as the honeymoon.



In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and
quarts... So in old England, when customers got
unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's
and Q's"



Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had
a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their
ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used
the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle"
is the phrase inspired

by this practice.



~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try
to lick their elbow


So ya'll be careful!!

posted 12-12-2004 09:21 PM         

quote:

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I guess I am not in the 75% cause I didn't try...I just took Ed's word for it. Cause if Ed puts it in print, it must be true.

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