posted 04-23-2003 03:18 PM         

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a jug of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Helpful Hint #2

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away!

Helpful Hint #3

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Helpful Hint #4

Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a
wonderful inexpensive vibrator.

Helpful Hint #6

Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by
simply pissing in the sink.

Helpful Hint #7

High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Helpful Hint #8

A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

Helpful Hint #9

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you
will be afraid to cough.

posted 04-23-2003 03:42 PM         

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Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring;
Painted Valve Cover; Window Tinting; Windshield Visor Banner; Front Bumper
Removal / Relocation of Front Turn Signal Lights; Real Rod Transmission Cooler
Cover, Sill and Carper Covers, Aero Front Covers and Roadster Rear Pan and
rear bumpers removed.
More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff

New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (02/23/03)

"I may have to grow older, but I do not have to grow up!"