posted 03-07-2003 02:13 PM         

2. A day without sunshine is like night.

3. On the other hand, you also have four fingers and a thumb.

4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 percent of politicians give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

9. Remember half the people you know are below average.

10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

14. Support bacteria, they are the only culture some people have.

15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your week.

16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

18. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

19. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

20. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

21. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

22. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

24. How do you tell when you are out of invisible ink?

25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

27. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

28. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

29. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

30. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

32. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

33. What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?

34. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

35. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

posted 03-08-2003 08:17 AM         

If there are really psyhic people out there,,,,why don't they win the lottery?

quote:

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Originally posted by ALLEY CAT:

If there are really psyhic people out there,,,,why don't they win the lottery?

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Along those lines, me and the wife were watching that "Crossing Over" show the other night where this guy supposedly communicates with the dead and relays the information to loved ones in the audience.

PUULEEEZ.

This has got to be one of the oldest scams. If you want a good laugh, watch the show. A typical scenario goes like this:

I'm seeing a name like Bruce, Brad, Brian, Bob,....
(this gets someone in the audience who knows someone that died with ONE of those names to come forward). He also keeps adding names and variations till someone jumps up.

One lady screams, "That was my uncle Brian" (now he knows the relationship)

He'll say something like, I see him playing with a little girl or at a birthday party for her or....
(well, he knew it was her uncle so he probably did something with her at least once)

1st-How come the dead always tell him their name is Bxxxxx?
and make him guess the rest?
2nd-how come everything is completely vague? Why not
something like, he lived a 2314 E. Broadway for 23 years
before dying of lung cancer at 67 and was buried in
Jones cememtary on Jan 15 1999 at 2:30???????