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Author Topic:   An Engineer's Take On Santa
pumpkin
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 7907
From: Las Cruces, NM, USA
Registered: DEC 2001

posted 12-18-2002 10:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pumpkin     
An Engineer's take on Santa
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However,
since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in
Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or
378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of
3.5 children per household, which comes to 108million homes, presuming there is at least
one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems
logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each
Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 of a second to park the
sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining
presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the
chimney, jump into the sl eigh and get onto the next house. Assuming that each of these
108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be
false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about
0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops
or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second-3,000 times the
speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses
space probe, and moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can
run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting
element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two
pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa himself. On
land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even
granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be
done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases
the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven
times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons
traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance, this would heat up the
reindeer in the same ashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead
pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each.
In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team
would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa
reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a
result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected
to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)
would be pinned the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing
his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa
did exist, he's dead now.
Merry Christmas
::

------------------

Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring;
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Removal / Relocation of Front Turn Signal Lights; Real Rod Transmission Cooler
Cover, Sill and Carper Covers, Aero Front Covers and Roadster Rear Pan and
rear bumpers removed.

More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff

New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (9/26/02)

"I may have to grow older, but I do not have to grow up!"


Punk N Purp
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 466
From: Pacifica, CA, USA
Registered: JUL 2000

posted 12-18-2002 07:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Punk N Purp     
Don't tell Virgina about this.


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