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ProwlerOnline, Plymouth/Chrysler Prowler Discussion Forum
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Only in the U.S. courts (Page 2)
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| This topic is 2 pages long: 1 2 This topic was originally posted in this forum: Tires, Rims Discusssion |
| Author | Topic: Only in the U.S. courts |
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Prowler Prowler Junkie Posts: 745 |
posted 10-28-2002 02:57 PM
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one. ________________________________________ Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year. ________________________________________ Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ________________________________________ Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? ______________________________________ Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. _______________________________________ Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. ________________________________________ Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. _________________________________________ Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? _________________________________________ Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? __________________________________________ Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? __________________________________________ Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? ________________________________________ Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? ________________________________________ Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? ________________________________________ Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? ____________________________________________ Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ___________________________________________ Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ___________________________________________ Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. ___________________________________________ Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. __________________________________________ Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? __________________________________________ Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
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Todd Cameron unregistered Posts: 745 |
posted 10-30-2002 03:53 AM
too funny!!!!!!!!!! ------------------ |
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Kelley Austin Prowler Junkie Posts: 438 |
posted 10-30-2002 10:07 AM
I was in court one day and heard this for real. A guy was before the judge and the judge said to the man you have been here for this same offence six times before, what do you think I should do with you? The guy answered make it light on yourself your majesty. The judge responded with, 30 days in the County Jail, your worshipness. |
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