posted 10-21-2002 03:16 AM         

As Mama was having her hair done, she mentioned to Mary that she was going to travel on her vacation this year.

"Where are you going?" asked Mary.

"I'm going to fly to Europe" Mama answered.

Mary immediately launched into a lecture about the dangers of Air Travel, how nasty Europeans were to Americans, and how expensive everything was over there. Then she asked Mama WHERE in Europe she was planning to go.

Mama told her that Italy was her destination.

"Don't you know that all those Italians are in the Mafia?" Mary sputtered, "They'd sooner cut your throat than look at you. What would you ever want to go to Italy for?"

Mama said that she'd always wanted to see the Vatican.

"Yeah, now THERE's a real ripoff" chided Mary, "They get all those gullible souls in Churches around the world to give their money, and then buy artwork and treasures for themselves. Why would you even think of going to the Vatican?"

Mama said that she'd like to see the Pope.

"Yeah, right! Like that'll happen" lectured Mary, "You'd see him alright, like a flyspeck on a balcony, about ten miles away!"

Nevertheless, Mama was still excited about her trip, and continued to look forward to it.

Several weeks later, after returning from her trip, Mama went back to Mary to have her hair done.

"So, how was Europe?" asked Mary.

"It was lovely. The people were gracious, the hospitality was wonderful, and I absolutely loved it" Mama answered.

"Wasn't Italy dirty? I'm sure that Rome was a real cesspool" continued Mary.

"Not at all. Italy was beautiful, and Rome was a jewel of a city. I couldn't have been more pleased" replied Mama.

"And I'll bet you never even got near the Pope, now did you?" continued the Hairdresser.

"In fact, I had a Private Audience with His Holiness" Mama proudly stated, "We spoke for nearly an hour and he gave me his personal blessing."

"So what did you and the Pope talk about for all that time?" demanded Mary.

"Well mainly" Mama began, "He wanted to know where I got such a crappy haircut!"