Author	Topic:   News Flash 2030
Rich Tilden Prowler Junkie Posts: 343 From: Punta Gorda, Florida Registered: JUL 2000	posted 08-19-2002 11:22 AM          > > 1. Fidel Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. > > 2. Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America > > crops & livestock. > > 3. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the > > American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as > > Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon). > > 4. Afghanistan still closed off--physicists estimate it > > will take at least ten more years before radioactivity > > decreases to safe levels. > > 5. Hunt continues for Osama bin Laden; believed sighted at Yasser Arafat's tomb in Detroit. > > 6. Thirty-five year study proclaims diet and exercise is > > the key to weight loss. > > 7. Texas executes last remaining citizen. > > 8. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. > > 9. Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped. > > 10. Authentic year 2000 Florida "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. > > 11. Ozone created by electric cars killing thousands in > > Los Angeles. > > 12. Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven > > inches. > > 13. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest > > version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is > > completed. > > 14. New California law requires that all nail clippers, > > screwdrivers and baseball bats be registered by January > > 2036. > > 15. Colorado motorist arrested for not driving SUV. > > 16. Average worker's Social Security (FICA) contribution > > hits $12,000 per week. Protests planned. > > 17. Congressman Gary Condit still missing. > > 18. Senator Strom Thurmond remains dead; continues to cast votes. > > 19. White House demands Saddam Hussein's resignation for > > 748th time. No response.> > > > 20. Seats for Mel Brooks' "The Producers" on Broadway, > > decline to $12,000 per. > > 21. Oprah Winfrey, nearing retirement, buys Illinois.
Punk N Purp Prowler Junkie Posts: 466 From: Pacifica, CA, USA Registered: JUL 2000	posted 08-19-2002 06:53 PM          That list is not just clever, but very funny too.

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