posted 02-01-2002 08:41 PM         

Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
A: Exchange him.

Q: What should you give a man who has everything?
A: A woman to show him how to work it.

Q: What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.

Q: Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
A: So men can understand them.

Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: Every masterpiece begins with a rough draft.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: They have a low tolerance for snoring.

Q: Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A: Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Q: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and most of the time they just sit there serving no useful purpose.

Q: How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
A: We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Q: How do men exercise on the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

posted 02-03-2002 02:18 PM         

Q: How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
A: We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Q: How do men exercise on the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.