posted 05-12-2001 03:51 PM         

What's the best form of birth control after 50? - Nudity.

What do attorneys use for birth control? - Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? - 45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? - 45
minutes..

How many women does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart? - Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why are men and parking spaces alike? - Because all the good ones are
taken and the only ones left are disabled.

Why do men want to marry virgins? - They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,and good looking? - They already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? - After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? - The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intension of driving.

What do you call a smart blonde? - A golden retriever.

Why does the bride always wear white? - Because it's good for the
dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? -- "Are you sure it's mine?"
y

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? - Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? - Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? - Because breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? - He walks around saying "Yo."

What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo? - A
Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage,
along
with a recipe.

What's the Cuban National Anthem? - Row row row your boat.

What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern
fairytale? - A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A
Southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh-."