Posts: 12017
From: San Diego Area
Registered: JUL 2000

posted 05-07-2001 10:45 AM         

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Health Food:

This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years,
die in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly
due to the wife's neurotic interest in health food. When they reached the
pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with
a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and
aahed", the old man asked Peter how much this was going to cost. It's free,"
Peter replied, Remember, this is Heaven." Next they went out back to see the
championship golf course the home backed up to. They would have golfing
privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one
representing the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are
the green fees?"
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You play for free." Next they went to
the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world
laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet?" St. Peter asked. "This is heaven. It's free!"
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?" the old man asked
timidly.
"That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like
and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your damned bran muffins.
I could have been here ten years ago!"

All times are CT (US)