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BeWare	Think Sarcasm is Funny? Think Again | Psychology Today Sarcasm is really just hostility disguised as humor If you want to be happier and improve your relationships, cut out sarcasm since sarcasm is actually hostility disguised as humor. Despite smiling outwardly, most people who receive sarcastic comments feel put down and usually think the sarcastic person is a jerk. Indeed, it’s not surprising that the origin of the word sarcasm derives from the Greek word “sarkazein” which literally means “to tear or strip the flesh off.” Hence, it’s no wonder that sarcasm is often preceded by the word “cutting” and that it hurts. What’s more, since actions strongly determine thoughts and feelings, when a person consistently acts sarcastically it usually only heightens his or her underlying hostility and insecurity. After all, when you come right down to it, sarcasm is a subtle form of bullying and most bullies are angry, insecure, cowards. Alternatively, when a person stops voicing negative comments, especially sarcastic and critical ones, he or she soon starts to feel happier and more self-confident. Also, the other people in his or her life benefit even faster because they no longer have to hear the emotionally hurtful language of sarcasm. Now I’m not saying all sarcasm is bad. It’s just better used sparingly – like a potent spice in cooking. Too much spice and the dish will be overwhelmed by it. Similarly, an occasional dash of sarcastic wit can spice up a chat and add an element of humor to it. But a big or steady serving of sarcasm will overwhelm the emotional flavor of any conversation and taste very bitter to its recipient. So, tone down the sarcasm and work on clever wit instead which is usually devoid of hostility and thus more appreciated by those you’re communicating with. In essence, sarcasm is easy (as is most anger, criticism and meanness) while true, harmless wit takes talent. Thus, the main difference between wit and sarcasm is that, as already stated, sarcasm is hostility disguised as humor. It is intended to hurt, and is often bitter and caustic. Witty statements are usually in response to someone’s unhelpful remarks or behaviors, and the intent is to unravel and clarify the issue by accentuating its absurdities. Sarcastic statements are expressed in a cutting manner; witty remarks are delivered with undisguised and harmless humor. Also, don't hestate to tell others that you don't appreciate their sarcastic comments because it's just thinly veiled hostility and unacceptable bullying. Remember: Think well, act well, feel well, be well! Copyright by Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D. http://www.prowleronline.com/ubb/Forum14/HTML/007558.html And BJ I don't wear panties. I wear boxers. This message has been edited by BeWare on 01-23-2017 at 02:46 PM
alrtg	Here is a cut and paste article about Rudeness at work that relates to more than the work place. The study could be applied to places like POA and other hobby sites as well. I am posting this only as "Food for Thought" I am not pointing fingers, or singling anyone out here as we all can be rude from time to time. Being made aware of the damage Rudeness can do, might deter an individual from being Rude going forward. 'Rudeness is contagious': How your attitude could hurt your co-workers Don't be rude at work: It could come back to bite you. That's the finding in new research that suggests that workplace rudeness is contagious. The study, published online last month in the Journal of Applied Psychology, likens everyday, low-level rudeness, like making a sly comment or excluding or ignoring a co-worker, to the irksome common cold. "It's very easy to catch," the paper's lead author, Trevor Foulk, told TODAY.com. "Just a single incident, even observing a single incident, can cause you to be more rude." Experiencing rudeness makes it more noticeable in your mind and in the world around you, the study found. "You see it one time and it changes something in your mind and this activation changes the way you interpret the world," added Foulk, a doctoral student in management at the University of Florida's Warrington College of Business Administration. "You'll interpret your interactions in the world as more rude and then respond to this perceived rudeness as rude. "It doesn't just happen and end," he said. "It happens and spreads." Workplace rudeness hurts performance and creativity and makes workers less helpful, Foulk said. While earlier studies have focused on more severe but less common abusive workplace behavior, rudeness is something workers face daily, he said, and he wanted to further study its consequences. "The average worker might go an entire career and might not ever be abused or aggressed upon, but people experience rudeness all the time," Foulk said. For the research, he and researchers conducted three studies on University of Florida students. The first involved students in a negotiation class. After each negotiating session, they completed online questionnaires that asked about partner rudeness. The study found that students who rated their partner as rude in a negotiation were themselves rated as rude by their next negotiating partner, suggesting that a victim of rudeness can then become a perpetrator. The rudeness effect was found to last a week. "It's essentially saying rudeness is contagious," Foulk said. "When I experience it, I become rude." ," Foulk said. "When I experience it, I become rude." The second study involved students who saw a neutral interaction between two people or a rude interaction. Afterward, they were shown strings of letters and had to identify which formed words and which were nonsense. The students who saw the rude interaction found the words associated with rudeness within the letters faster than those who saw the neutral interaction, suggesting that even seeing rudeness means you will notice more rudeness in your environment. "Witnessing the rude encounter activates the concept of rudeness in the unconscious part of your brain," Foulk said. From there, researchers wanted to know if that brain activation influenced behavior. "It's essentially saying rudeness is contagious," Foulk said. "When I experience it, I become rude." This message has been edited by alrtg on 01-23-2017 at 03:47 PM
bjprowler	Rich.....The key is for the READER to know the DIFFERENCE between "Sarcasm" and "Sarcastic Wit" (And not have a chip on their shoulder)......My posts were meant to be HUMOROUS. Do you ever watch late night comedians that talk about, and tell jokes about politicians????? Do you think they all do it out of hatred for the candidate or because it's humorous? Lighten up......This clown show is going to last for at least four more years. (And late night comedians will be loving every minute of it) Oh,BTW..... I just can't imagine you in boxers, Rich.....Got any pics that you'd care to share? Oh, one more thing......Some time ago the concern was raised that fewer and fewer people seem to be posting on the POA......And I suggested that it may be because they don't want to be attacked if they DO post.... It's called "Freedom Of Speech" and many Marines just like Rich Ware fought, and some gave their lives, to allow people to have it.... This message has been edited by bjprowler on 01-23-2017 at 05:11 PM
silverkat	Read the above. Does anyone think UB is funny? He's been calling out Beware on every post now. He keeps restating his hatred for president Trump and now our 1st Lady. He's despised here in the political forum but like someone else he keeps posting his hate and is so out of touch thinks it's going over well. Time for you to be shown the door you poor, pathetic little creature. Perhaps it's best that you're drinking yourself into oblivion... Beeeejayyyyyy is editing his posts to try and save face from his original comments. Uh uh uh not fair Beeejy... This message has been edited by silverkat on 01-23-2017 at 05:17 PM
bjprowler	Silverkat, you apparently have some very real, (and perhaps serious) issues...... You said "He keeps restating his hatred for president Trump and now our 1st Lady". (above) Kindly post the links wherein I have EVER said anything about hating ANYONE....Especially Donald or Melania Trump.....I voted for him...But I question his qualifications to lead or nation. I encourage you to seek professional care and treatment....And soon. Good luck This message has been edited by bjprowler on 01-23-2017 at 05:03 PM
silverkat	No Bob I think it's pretty obvious who needs help. Notice how no one ever has your back? It's because your behavior is embarrassing. You're weird w/strange unnatural obsessions. I'm worried about small children around you. All the Booze has done a number on you. Now go back like a nice little alcoholic and post about your dreams of seeing Stiff Curry in his underwear. OK Bob? It's time for another drink Bob and sweet dreams.
bjprowler	.....See what I mean?
silverkat	I'm sure you've convinced everyone. You wouldn't believe how many PM's have told me what a Freak you are. Dream on Bob and pls continue as usual w/your hatred of President Trump and Melania as well as your lovesick obsession w/Stiff. Does he give you a stiffy Bob? Time for a drink Bob.
Landscape Doctor	Uncle B heading to the women's march,,,
bjprowler	.....Silverkat, I'm serious....You may be one sick puppy.....Get some help. Landscape Doc...That's hilarious! (Weird, but hilarious) This message has been edited by bjprowler on 01-23-2017 at 05:17 PM
silverkat	Strike a nerve Bob? I think so. Take a poll Bob here as to who needs help. Time to open a new bottle Bob as you're not passed out yet. Good luck...
bjprowler	Again, all I can suggest is that you seek professional help for your condition.....It's nothing to be ashamed of.... Good luck.
silverkat	Hiccup........ Time for another!